Love, as you know, can overtake the unprepared person for hormonal and emotional shakes at an inopportune moment. Ideally, you met, saw, fell in love with the subject of your adoration. And you live together untill you die, with the necessary kit for pure human happiness:
- romance around the clock
- the loving eyes of the second half
- a house with white columns
- a parked Bentley
- beautiful kids and a dog
Do not immediately rush into the arms of crazy love, leaving the family and husband (or wife). As we have seen before, falling in love can leave a serious imprint on your critical perception, especially if you have not experienced this feeling for a long time and have lived for a long time in emotional starvation. It may seem to you that only with this new person, representing your sudden infatuation, you will be truly happy, that you cannot be with anyone else, and that all your previous relationships were just a pathetic likeness of true married life!
The victim of a love feeling can be easily identified. The taste for life is lost for that person. Shopping is not happy, chocolate and other harmful carbohydrates are consumed in industrial quantities. Well, or a total hunger strike accompanies sufferings, and the body does not require natural food, but he needs only something special. With the sounds of melancholy romantic ballads, an intensified tear process begins.
And the phone, while waiting for a call, is hypnotized, in the manner of a boa looking at a rabbit, before eating with a great appetite. In principle, there are not very many ways out of this situation. Either fall out of love in a matter of urgency or take the object of desire with starvation and conquer with tricky strategic maneuvers.
1. You need to treat this as a game.
But I want to emphasize, if you have installations like: “I will be happy only with him,” “If he does not love me, my life will end,” this is suffering love. You will think all the time what to say to your crush. In this case, it is better not to carry out this technique, since the idealization of the man is clearly visible. Attempts to conquer him will be painful and are unlikely to lead to something good. Such feelings are best removed with a special technique.
To apply it, you need to concentrate on 3-5 of its shortcomings. It is advisable to choose those shortcomings that are unacceptable to you. You can write them down. And then “exaggerate” them. After a week or two, the consciousness will realize that you have idealized the image, and the “obsession” will pass. The purpose of this exercise is to remove illusions. To realize that you have idealized the image of a man, and he is actually not as good as you have imagined him all this time. Also, you can program yourself for mutual love, with the help of positive affirmations.
2. Stop loving him
Simply and logically, according to the principle of something that bothers us, we get rid of it at a speedy pace. But the snag is that the more we are engaged in auto-training and self-suggestion on the fact that we do not need him/her, the more you want to get the object of passion into your tenacious legs. The principle “Do not think about a polar bear” works (you are told: “Do not think of a white bear for at least 5 minutes!” I assure you that it will not work; thoughts come to mind in the very first seconds). In this situation, a massive complex of complex mechanisms is involved, which is somewhat difficult to deal with.
3. Learn to love yourself
Begin to get acquainted with yourself, with what you are. Love your body with all its flaws, because you have one and you will not have the other. This will help you to get over your crush.
4. Start moving
If you are rejected and you find it difficult to cope with your feelings, go to the gym, and start running. Stress hormones are utilized through muscle activity.
5. Get distracted
Knowledgeable people recommend trying to get distracted for getting over a crush. For example, you need to become a pronounced workaholic and put all the passion of love behind the career ladder to stop thinking how to talk to your crush. Strangely enough, but often unrealized feeling really becomes the most potent stimulator of creative and labor impulses. No wonder that many great artists, poets and writers created their imperishable works at the time of deep mental anguish.
And the desire to prove how much the one who did not appreciate you deserves, makes the sufferers, spurred on by wounded self-esteem, to wade through thorns to the stars, earn millions and accomplish feats. Using the energy of love, ladies lose weight and become prettier, gentlemen make capital, and in general, strong emotional outbursts increase public and social activity. As they say, there would be no happiness without love. Of course, everything is good in moderation, and most importantly, in the period of finding the ways to get over your crush, not to miss real life.
In heavy cases, the help of a psychotherapist is necessary. Sometimes one session is enough (if you are caught only on one hook), sometimes the work can last for years. In any case, the famous saying “time heals” is right.
7. The creation of a cognitive barrier
It is both complicated and straightforward. Just for this reason, it is enough to know that falling in love is a disease and it will not stick. In fact, after reading this note, you have already contributed to the creation of this cognitive barrier.
It is difficult because now the whole culture machine is working on the idealization of love. And, therefore, destroys the cognitive barrier. Therefore, if you create it, you have to build a complex system of protection against the pressure of culture. You need to understand that love is just hormones in our body, and you will know how to get over someone you like.
8. Try to be realistic
In the period of love, you may feel that the object of your passion is the only and unique person with whom your happiness is possible. It is an illusion generated by the chemistry of the brain, and it is like the action of a drug. Theoretically, you can fall in love with anyone and anytime. You do not have a special choice. Love is like a lottery. I believe now you know how to stop obsessing over someone.