Adultery in Marriage
It is believed that adultery in marriage strengthens the relations. What do you think about that? Surveys prove that the ratio of people with conservative views exceeds the number of those who are more loyal to adultery. Let’s find out if it is possible to justify the fact of cheating somehow, and why such a situation can happen. Recent statistics show that the fairer sex is less likely to file for divorce now.
It happens due to the fact that the views of modern women on the essence of marital relations have changed greatly. Many wives put up with the fact of adultery and believe that their task is to save the family in any possible way. It is necessary to understand that there are different kinds of cheating. Naturally, the first thing that comes to mind is the physical cheating; however, there can be the emotional infidelity as well.
Emotional affair as a way to escape from an everyday life
After living together for quite some time, many couples find themselves on the verge of divorce. It can be caused by the daily routine and household chores that replace the old romance and passion in the relationship. A person, being in need of some shake-up, can have an emotional affair that does not involve a physical intimacy. At first glance, it may seem that there is nothing wrong with such an innocent flirtation, but it is not true. There are a number of signs that can help you to recognize an emotional infidelity.
Analyze, if you have noticed doing anything of the following:
- You have secret meetings with a new acquaintance, hiding this fact from family and friends.
- You dare to do things that you haven’t done in your relationship with the spouse.
- You are occupied with the dreams and thoughts of meeting your new admirer.
- You ask your new friend for help without saying anything about the problem to your better half.
- You notice that the intimacy with your spouse becomes rare or disappears totally.
- You share some personal explicit pictures.
- You think that your new acquaintance understands you much better than a legal husband.
- During meetings with your admirer, you are looking for a reason to touch this person.
Have you recognized yourself in the mentioned points? Don’t panic right away, you can fix it. You have to understand what is going on, soberly judge the seriousness of the situation and, if you haven’t made any irreparable mistakes, then it is not too late to set the right proprieties. If you understand all the value of your marriage, immediately stop the communication, which can lead to a wrong step.
It is possible to overcome the desire of the emotional infidelity in its initial stage. To do this, follow the tips:
- Stop any kind of the communication with the admirer at once. You mustn’t answer any texts or phone calls. You can block that person on the social media if it makes the things easier for you to finish your affair.
- Try to talk honestly about everything with your better half.
- Your task is to restore the former trust in the family.
- Spend as much time with your beloved one as possible, try to start all over again.
- Have romantic evenings as they will help you to get closer to each other again.
This episode of your life should become an important lesson for you, and show what your family really means to you. It is possible that conscience will torture you for a long time because of the things that happened. Though, it won’t change anything. The best thing you can do in this situation is to seek the help of a professional psychologist who will help to cope with the problem. Consultations of experts will explain how to get over this unpleasant episode of your life.
What are the causes of adultery in marriages?
The psychology of relationships is a complex science. If you find yourself in a difficult situation, you have faced the cheating of your beloved one or you have become an unfaithful spouse yourself, then you need to understand what pushed your relations to this step. The nature of male and female adultery has different essence.
The researchers of this issue single out the following causes of men’s infidelity:
- Interest in another partner. Men won’t get tired of repeating that they are polygamous. It may happen that they simply want to try something new, unexplored, and then, feeling the support of friends and listening to their colorful stories about love affairs, the man decides on a peculiar “adventure” and takes a mistress.
- Household chores, boring everyday life together. The desire for a change and the opportunity to escape from the daily hustle and bustle push to committing adultery in a marriage. Quite accidentally there may be a lonely colleague at work that doesn’t mind having fun.
- Ability to highlight your status. Successful businessmen are used to having lovers. In this way, the man demonstrates his importance and financial opportunities to others.
- A spouse has turned into a mouse. If a woman stopped taking care of herself, no wonder if a man’s response will be a love affair. Any “macho” wants to see a slender, elegant and sexy lady by his side.
- Weakness of character. If your husband is surrounded by open-minded girls, who don’t mind sharing a bed with him, do not be surprised if he cannot resist this temptation.
What if you have faced a similar situation? It is difficult to give an unambiguous answer to this question. But it is you who has to make a decision. We can only suggest you decide for yourself whether you are ready to put up with this situation or determined to fight for your happiness and the preservation of the marriage. Remember that all is fair in love and war.
Strange as it may seem, women are also capable of the infidelity in marriage. And they have their own reasons:
- In response to the infidelity of the husband. If a woman can’t cope with the hurt and pain caused by her husband, she may dare for such a step.
- Out of curiosity. This can happen if the sexual temperament of the spouses does not coincide.
- If the old love is fading away and a woman searches for new sensations.
- Lack of self-confidence or psychological complexes that a person tries to overcome with the help of an affair.
- Frequent business trips of a spouse, his constant absence.
It is important to understand that for a harmonious and healthy relationship in the family you need to listen to your better half, pay maximum of your attention, and be observant to notice the first thoughts of a possible adultery. It is important for a woman to be admired, despite the years spent in marriage. So, you have to spend as much time together as possible and arrange romantic dates. If you surround her with the care and love, you can be sure that in response you will get her caring attitude.
Do not forget why you have chosen this person as a life partner among billions of other people on the planet. What did you feel when you saw your better half for the first time? Think about the situations you have already experienced and overcome together. Be open with each other, and then you will be able to avoid various troubles and your mutual love will last a lifetime.
Statistics: “What is the percentage of adultery in marriages?”
To a great regret, the times of high morality, when the infidelity caused the contempt and condemnation of the society have passed long ago. Despite the fact that all young couples are counting on a happy family life in harmony and understanding, sometimes there is a betrayal in their life’s journey. Survey and research data suggest that the number of men who have ever had an affair in their lives is 76%. And 40% of women said that they had a permanent lover. But it is wrong to believe that only the one who committed adultery is absolutely guilty.
When dealing with adultery in marriage, both spouses are to blame. It does not matter how many years you have lived together, it is important to be able to listen and hear your partner. You should discuss your feelings, share secret desires and fantasies. If you have children in your family, think about the example you set for them. Your mutual care and support are necessary for a healthy and harmonious atmosphere. Do not stop your self-development and pick up interesting holiday options for the whole family, which can help you to get closer to each other. Devotion is the most reliable basement that will help to keep the family together.
How can I getting over adultery in marriage?
Of course, the betrayal of a spouse is a heavy blow for anyone. It is not easy to cope with this unpleasant situation, but still possible. There are several tips to help you in overcoming this tough time:
- ask yourself if you are ready to forgive the adultery (and give an honest answer to yourself). Decide if you are able to give a second chance to a cheater;
- try to make a strong bond with your partner;
- understand what marital fidelity you expect and what you give in return.
If you want to save your marriage, remember why you fell in love with this person. Try to take a few steps aside and mentally go back to the beginning of your story when you just started living together. What feelings did you have? If your partner really cares about you, he will help you to cope with the psychological trauma that was done. The most important thing is not to blame yourself for what happened. It is not going to be an easy job to analyze the incident and identify its root cause. You should try to forget about the emotions and understand the details. Your task is to abandon the role of the victim, and soberly judge the given situation.
If there is a real love in your family, the following question will arise: “When to let go of a marriage or is it worth fighting for your happiness?” If you really love each other, help the guilty partner to justify your trust. Forgive your partner, and you will notice that it is easier for both of you carry on living together. There is no need for revenge! Believe me, your spouse is blaming himself for this misstep. You can choose an interesting strategy that guarantees a good result – make the partner jealous. Show the cheater that you might be interesting and attractive for someone other than him. Put him in your position, and then it will be his turn to draw your attention.
You, like no other, know your family life from the inside and understand what methods will be effective in your case. Only you have the right to make the final decision regarding your marital affair. Divorce is an extreme line, which you can always cross. If the flames of your feelings haven’t completely slipped away, and you are still drawn to each other, there should be a frank conversation between you, aimed to resolve everything.
Try to understand the real goals and desires of your couple. If nothing bonds you anymore, you’d better get rid of these burdening relationships. In any case, only you have to consider all the “pros” and “cons” and make a balanced decision, without relying on the opinion of friends and acquaintances. Don’t make any hasty conclusions in anger. We wish you to have enough endurance and patience to make the right choice.
Marissa Bonner is a renowned dating expert with over 10 years of experience in the industry. With a Master’s degree in psychology and a background in counseling, Marissa has helped thousands of singles find love and build meaningful relationships.
Her approach to dating is centered around helping individuals identify their unique needs and desires in a partner, and empowering them with the skills and tools to communicate effectively and navigate the complex world of dating.