In the life of every family, there may come a moment when a man or woman, being married, feels lonely. People who are single in marriage call their status differently – “lonely marriage”, or “married but lonely”. However, this does not change the essence: they feel unhappy with their partner.
Is it normal to be lonely married? This feeling can last from a few seconds to several years. Even in happy families, there are such moments. However, this does not mean that it is time to divorce. Perhaps something went wrong in your relationship and a period has come when one of the partners may feel lonely. You can mend your relationship and overcome feelings of loneliness if you want it. Are reading this article? Great! It is already the first step to solving your problem!
Remember that many people feel married but unhappy and lonely. According to surveys, about 40 percent of married people feel or have felt lonely at some point. This may mean that the partners’ interests have changed over time, and a misunderstanding has arisen between them. How to make sure that something is wrong in your marriage? The main signs of this; how to return an emotional connection with a partner and cope with the problem of loneliness in marriage, read on.
What Makes Us Lonely In a Relationship?
Why do I feel lonely but im married? Look at the list of signs of loneliness in a relationship that we have prepared for you. Perhaps you will find something that describes your marriage. You may feel lonely with your partner if:
- Your heart is closed because you are protecting yourself from pain, anger, or being withdrawn. You cannot be in contact when you are closed.
- The partner deliberately blocks communication with you, hiding behind work, TV, alcohol, hobbies, the Internet, and so on.
- You adjust to your partner’s feelings to control them. Giving up on yourself to control what your partner thinks of you doesn’t lead to a genuine connection.
- You do not want to notice the brewing conflict. The reluctance to openly discuss important issues creates walls between you.
- You use sexual relationships as a means of control.
- You scroll through the relationship in your head instead of discussing it together with open hearts. After a while, it can be dull and lonely.
- Your partner criticizes your thoughts, feelings, attitudes, or actions. Judgment separates people.
- You are excessively tired, exhausted, depressed, or feeling unwell.
Top Tips For Staying Emotionally Close to Your Partner
Can a marriage survive without emotional intimacy? Very often, the feeling of loneliness in one of the partners in marriage arises from an insufficiently developed emotional and physical connection between the spouses. All this can be fixed by knowing the simple tips that we have collected for you. We are sure that with these effective recommendations you will be able to change your relationship.
1. Deal with the source of the problem
Try to understand where this unpleasant feeling of loneliness came from. Perhaps the real reason lies in something else, completely unrelated to the relationship. Because of this, instead of automatically blaming your loved one or holding back the negativity within yourself, take the time to deal with the true source of the problem. Maybe it’s the growing pressure from the authorities? Maybe you haven’t rested for a long time and missed your 2-week vacation?
2. Get to know each other more
We are sure that you do not know everything about your partner, even if you have been in a relationship for many years. You should learn more about each other if you want to always stay close. Perhaps now you no longer have such an interest in each other as at the beginning of the relationship, because you are already used to being together and take it for granted. When did you talk sincerely with your partner last time? You need to communicate more with each other on topics that both of you care about. Emotional intimacy can be restored by asking each other questions that will help you learn more about each other, for example:
- What is your partner’s biggest dream in life?
- What are the most vivid memories from their childhood?
- How do they see themselves in 10 years?
3. Remember or create new experiences together
Nothing brings people together like shared memories. You have happy moments that you can remember while sitting over a cup of tea. Talk heart to heart, and motivate yourself to have such happy moments more. Perhaps, after looking at the photo from your first trip together, you will want to go on a trip again. Don’t forget that now is the time to create memories that will evoke lasting memories for you in the future: get ready for the upcoming holidays together, decorate the Christmas tree, spend time with your family, start new family traditions, go on extreme dates, and much more.
4. Develop empathy
Are you married but lonely man? Do not think only about yourself, try to put yourself in the place of a partner, and take into account their feelings. Imagine yourself in the place of your loved one. Perhaps they also feel lonely. Be considerate and express sincere feelings for them. Gradually, the partner will notice this and begin to behave in the same way. It is important that both of you value and respect each other’s feelings and emotions so that you can get closer and build a nice relationship.
5. Communicate a lot with each other
Communication is an important factor in developing healthy relationships. Choose to talk to your partner rather than turn on the radio or listen to music. Find topics that are important to you and that you should discuss. Another crucial thing is to be an attentive listener, do not look at the phone or TV when your partner tells you about what is important to them. Be “here and now”, completely immersed in communication with your loved one. No matter how difficult it is, especially at the beginning of the way out of the current situation, carry on a dialogue. Find out from your partner what is bothering them in your relationship. Listen to the answers respectfully, and accept them. Also, talk about what is important to you.
6. Try to maintain physical contact
Another reason for your loneliness in marriage may be the fact that you do not have enough physical contact with your partner. Perhaps you are the person who simply cannot do without tactile touch. How often do you kiss, hug and just hold hands with your significant other? Think about whether this is enough for you because hugs and kisses for no reason in a couple are just as important as sex.
7. Spend more time together
What to do when you’re married but so lonely? If one of the partners is overcome by a feeling of loneliness, pay attention to spending time together. Yes, sometimes we are captured by the daily routine: one watches TV while the other reads a book or surfs the Internet. But the less time a couple spends together, the more likely they are to feel distanced from each other. To prevent this from happening, think about what kind of activity both of you like. A beneficial recommendation: once every 1-2 weeks, go on dates with your spouse. Let this be a time when it will be just the two of you. So you can maintain your romantic connection, and learn something new about each other.
8. Focus on yourself
It may seem strange to you, but experts recommend to find new hobbies and focus on yourself. In fact, when you are busy and you have other interests, you will be less obsessed with difficulties, including relationship problems. This will allow you to accept the situation and allow everything to turn out as it should. It will ultimately help you establish communication with your loved one. Take your time and thoughts with something other than relationships. Learn languages, master choreography, and learn something new. Chat and communicate with people, and make new friends. There are special married but lonely sites for this. Stop begging for attention and love from your partner. Become a mature person in a relationship with whom it is interesting to spend time.
In this article, we have given you the most effective ways to deal with status: “married but lonely”. It’s best to practice them all together. Using our tips and recommendations that you read in the article, you will establish an emotional connection with your partner, get to know each other better, find common hobbies and activities, and spend more time together. But remember, all this is possible if you have the desire to work on relationships and motivate your partner to do the same.