A certain moment comes for any couple when the discrepancies between expectations and real relationships become so great that it becomes no longer possible to ignore them. This is what always happens with expectations: if people do not share them in time, they will break like glass, injuring both you and your partner.
Expectations are part of the person’s inner reality, it is an ideal picture of smth. A person who waits a perfect life all the time is in a world of their expectations and thinks that the desired future will come right now. But this painted future does not happen because it does not obey your thoughts, your partner does not belong to you, and telepathic communication does not exist. Then people experience pain, disappointment, anger, and resentment against the world and others. It is very important to have the right concept about the expectations from the relationship. Further in the article, we will talk about realistic relationship expectations, unhealthy relationship expectations, how to understand whether your expectations are too high or not, and what things are important in any relationship.
What Are Reasonable Expectations In a Relationship?
Probably every person, whether they are in a relationship or maybe just looking for love on dating sites, has specific expectations from a relationship. But it is important to remember that you should not hope for something special from your partner. We all have our views and concepts. Let’s look at what is important in a relationship and what should we expect from it. We prepared the relationship expectations list for you to determine if your expectations are realistic:
1. Understanding and sharing emotions
This is one of the most important mentor relationship expectations that determines the highest degree of sincerity between partners. When we understand how we feel, we can explain to the partner what is happening to us and what we want. When we allow ourselves to share our thoughts and feelings, we feel the most real intimacy, because we begin to speak sincerely. In such a way, we even could improve our relationship. The language of feelings is something that is present only between two lovers and what inspires confidence in them.
2. Understanding and meeting your needs and those of your partner
Why do we need relationships? Everyone determines for themself. In most cases, we need them to be happier than alone. The simplest and, at the same time, the most difficult question: “What do I want?” The answer to this question determines the new relationship expectations: what we need to do in our life better.
3. Having common goals in a relationship and achieving them together
Goals are what gives energy to us, this is the third important aspect of a happy relationship. By the way, according to the statistics research, it is known that 64% of Americans report they are “very happy” in their relationship, and just 19% say they’re unhappy. We set goals for the future to make it better. It’s great if you and your partner have common goals that you want to achieve. Then there is a team spirit in the couple and an understanding that you are a force together. This is what strengthens your love.
4. Having trust in a relationship
This is one of the important long distance relationship expectations. If there is an atmosphere of complete trust and mutual understanding in your relationship, this always makes partners happy. What could be better than the confidence that your loved one will always understand, support, and never deceive you?
5. Having true love in a relationship
It may seem banal, but it is love in its highest sense, and not as an erotic attraction, that is the basis that can strengthen relationships like nothing else. Why is this fact one of the main long-term relationship expectations? If partners have feelings for each other, it becomes not so difficult for them to overcome the complexity of the distance between them.
6. Having the same concept of development in your couple
What is a realistic expectation in a relationship? This is an expectation that is justified and can be expected from a relationship. One of them is the same concept of development. After all, it is impossible to build harmonious relationships if each of the partners imagines and sees family life and its development in different ways. Partners need to talk about what each of them expects from the future.
Things That Destroy Relationships: Are My Relationship Expectations Too High?
When we are in love and under the influence of several feelings, we could set unrealistic goals for our relationship and expect the impossible from our partner. How do you set expectations in a relationship? Test yourself: maybe you also have unrealistic expectations like:
1. “I have to be the center of attention for the partner…”
This is one of the popular unrealistic relationship expectations. At the stage of courtship, this often happens: when partners are passionate about each other and are under the influence of a mixture of dopamine and oxytocin. But as relationships develop, things change and we are often not ready for this, believing that even after 10 years of marriage, a partner should anxiously go to meet you on the first call, forgetting about their affairs and obligations.
2. “If a partner loves me, they should anticipate my desires and read my mind”
A very naive assumption that a lot of people believe. By expecting your partner to read your mind, you impair communication in a couple and create grounds for mutual resentment. People can’t read each other’s minds. Therefore, there is no better way to strengthen relationships than to establish communication with a partner: tell them how you feel, what you expect from them, and what you would like.
3. “We must agree with each other on everything”
Relationship expectations vs reality: another unrealistic expectation that ruins relationships. If you believe in this, then any disagreement with a partner turns into the ground for a serious quarrel and means an inevitable break in relations. Stop treating disagreements with your partner in a dramatic way or trying to give up your opinion, so long as it coincides with the partner’s point of view.
What Are the 5 Most Important Things In a Relationship?
Relationships are always the work of both partners. The factors on which relationships are built must be taken into account by both partners. Here are the most important things that should be in a healthy relationship:
Feeling safe
Love forgives a lot but no amount of love can compensate for your sense of safety. If it is absent in a relationship, if there is a well-founded fear for your life, then you should not hold on to such a partner. Even for love. Your union must be safe “territory”.
Respect
A lot of people try to “build” their love with a complete lack of mutual respect from one of their partners, or even for themselves. Others believe that the absence of fights and insults in a relationship is already a big feat in the field of respect, and there is nothing more to think about. Respect consists of smaller details: recognition and respect for the partner’s rights to their own opinion and personal space, acceptance of their environment, emotions and interests, etc.
Ability to be yourself
This sign is very important and is often one of the boyfriend relationship expectations. After all, it is needed to remain themselves for all men in a relationship with a girl. In a relationship or not, you are a unique and self-sufficient personality. Don’t give it up even for the sake of your loved one. Of course, in a relationship, you cannot do without compromises, but they should not reshape you into a completely different person, or, even worse, into a “half” of a person so that your partner is comfortable. Protect your integrity as a person and don’t be afraid to be yourself.
Each of you has your boundaries
This, by the way, is included in sugar daddy relationship expectations. Relationships in which a man and a woman completely dissolve into each other and their love is good only for paperback novels. In real life, each of you should have a personal space. Both of you have the right to be alone and to have your personal, not mutual friends, hobbies, interests, and emotions.
Equal partnership
A partnership built on mutual respect and trust “works” much more efficiently than the standard scheme: a man is responsible for profits, and a woman is responsible for household chores. An equal partnership implies a flexible system developed by a couple, according to the abilities, desires, and characteristics of each partner. Moreover, each of them makes an equal contribution to the development of relations and bears responsibility. After all, both are interested in creating the most comfortable atmosphere in your relationship. This is done together and voluntarily.
Final Word
Any relationship between people is based on the fact that you are aware of your interests and recognize the interests of another. If you live in expectations all the time and stick to satisfying only your needs, you will become the cruelest manipulator, up to and including abuse. If you stop considering your interests and only worry about making your partner comfortable, you will become a victim. Healthy relationship expectations should be realistic, only then you will adequately evaluate and build a model of a happy relationship.
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I received my PhD in linguistics from the University of Chicago. My education has given me a deep understanding of the importance of language nuance. This, in turn, has shaped my special approach to writing and refining text pieces.
