What is speed dating?
The rapid life in megacities dictates its own rules of survival. There are more opportunities, higher competition, and the person, who knows how to make quick decisions, wins. In large cities, time has exceptional value. For a modern person, it is no longer enough to be a demanding manager of working time. Time management captures new territories. Therefore, the personal sphere, friendship, love, and family creation are exposed to the dynamic schedule of daily activities.
Ways to find a partner and the rules of dating change as well. Everything happens quickly with a constant shortage of time. Long meditations, doubts, indecision are abolished. People with a proactive attitude to life come to the forefront of natural selection, they react flexibly to changes and are open to new experiences. Perhaps that is why in large cities Speed Dating is becoming increasingly popular. Let’s see what psychological aspects are hidden in this direction.
How does speed dating work
Speed Dating is a paid format for quick dates or parties, the purpose of which is to acquaint different people with each other. Participation in such an event allows you to meet 20-30 new people over the evening. As the organizers promise, these people will fit each other the best in education, interests, age, etc.
History of speed dating
Presumably, short dating originated in the late 90s of the 20th century. In 1998, Jacob Deio and his wife Sue began organizing dates for Jewish youth. In the wild rhythm of America, these meetings helped young people of Jewish nationality to find their half. This was the basis for speed dating.
Why not everyone loves speed dating
Speed Dating is the right solution for those who do not have time, complexes, and prejudices. In addition, it is an inexpensive way to spend leisure time, to establish new relationships for friendship, career, sex, and other perspectives. But despite the obvious benefits and convenience, this format of dating is not accepted by all people.
Skeptics say that such meetings look mechanical, they are deprived of the magic of the fateful event, the mystery of the origin of love, and they do not have romance.
In the psychology of many people, there is a lofty idea of the first meeting. It is believed that it must necessarily coincide with the moment of the origin of feelings. Therefore, people, wanting to emphasize the significance of the relationship, say that it was love at first sight. Indeed, there is something supernatural and wonderful in the coincidence of sympathy.
This statement is true. Love is a miracle. But the moment of the origin of sympathy follows after the first glance and not always immediately. And in order to feel it, a man and a woman must meet first. And only then sympathy will turn the meeting into a date.
Unfortunately, the lack of romance is not the only obstacle to the recognition of Speed Dating. Two more stereotypes block the desire to act in young people. People say that a man should do the first step, and a woman should not offer herself.
In the first case, the emphasis of responsibility for the happiness of two people is shifted to a man. And this fact does not add much motivation to the male half of the population. The second statement is a well-known argument in favor of female passivity, coloring an active interest in acquaintance by agreement in vulgar tones. However, there is a difference to offer your body or to offer your friendship, communication, help, and love.
In fact, whether a man and a woman will meet or not depends on the availability of the first step, and not on who took it. A new effective strategy replaces old beliefs. And it is not surprising that progressive people use additional opportunities to meet and establish relationships in the format of Speed Dating.
How to succeed on a first date
To be an interesting and pleasant conversationalist on your first acquaintance, it is enough to follow a few simple speed dating tips:
- Show a keen interest and affection to what a person is talking about.
- Be natural in discussions and gentle in accepting opinions of the interlocutor.
- Share positive emotions in stories about yourself and episodes of your life.
- Say compliments and be sincere when you are really happy with an interlocutor.
- Demonstrate your own interests and hobbies.
- Respect the boundaries of the interlocutor.
- Be yourself.
Experts say that a few seconds are enough for a person to form an idea about a person at whom he or she looks or speak. The best speed dating advice is that you should appreciate your time, yourself and the one who is next to you. Moreover, you should be yourself because you will not be able to pretend for a long time.
Marissa Bonner is a renowned dating expert with over 10 years of experience in the industry. With a Master’s degree in psychology and a background in counseling, Marissa has helped thousands of singles find love and build meaningful relationships.
Her approach to dating is centered around helping individuals identify their unique needs and desires in a partner, and empowering them with the skills and tools to communicate effectively and navigate the complex world of dating.