The epoch of knights and knightly tournaments are in the past. Noble ladies are not locked in the top of the castle’s tower, waiting for a brave hero to save them. Things are totally different nowadays. Ladies are ready to conquer this world themselves.
Social movements of the XX century gave freedom to women. Now there are women in business, politics, science, art and sport. The life of a modern woman does not spin only around her household, kids, and husband. She has the right to choose whom to love and how to live. The situation seems quite nice, until you dig deeper. The independence of women caused a lot of confusion for men. Very often men do not know how to behave properly in the presence of a strong woman so not to hurt her feministic ideals. When you open a door of the car for a lady, one girl may be excited at your chivalry, while the other may get angry with you.
If you invite a pretty stranger for a date, you may be puzzled with the question “should women pay for dates?”. Well, such question is tough to answer. Sometimes they should and sometimes they shouldn’t. But where is that thin line between being attentive to her philosophy and not being a greedy man in her eyes? Don’t worry! This article will help you to figure the things out.
When should a woman offer to pay for a date?
First of all, you have to define at what stage of relations you are with the girl at the moment as the rules may differ.
Beginning of the relations
As a matter of fact, on the 1st or 2nd date nobody owes anything to each other. In fact, you are no more than strangers to each other. If you absolutely do not want to pay, it is quite possible to walk in the park, in quiet streets and so on when the weather allows. One or two walks are enough to decide whether you want to continue the relationship with this person or not. What if the weather is not very good or there is another reason not to walk, but to sit somewhere? Then you have to invite her somewhere.
Actually, if you invite her, you have to pay. But at the beginning of your relations, it is better not to spend more than you don’t mind giving to a complete stranger. Determine for yourself the amount of money that you do not mind losing and that you will not regret, if the relationship does not start.
A man should pay for a woman but not because a lady needs to be fed to give him something intimate in return. It’s just a gesture. It means that a man is able to take responsibility and can be a caring defender. After all, in a situation when a man treats, a woman gets a rare opportunity to feel weak and protected. Let’s be honest, it is not a matter of eating two hundred grams of stew, which she can cook at home. Alas, money issues are increasingly interfering in the sphere of relations. Men complain that women are interested only in money, while women are outraged that men are stingy to buy even a single rose. All together this leads to insincerity in love. And sometimes there are even absurd situations when men are not ready to pay not only for the lady, but also for themselves. Apparently, some believe that the very company of them is such a huge gift for a lady that she should pay for this pleasure with the restaurant bill.
What if a woman offers to pay for herself?
It’s up to you. If the amount is insignificant to you, then give up her share. If it’s significant, why didn’t you follow my advice not to spend more than you’re sorry to give without a refund? Though, such behavior of a woman gives her a credit. Woman paying for a date does not want to owe you. In this case, you can say with a friendly smile: “It is no need! Next time you can invite me” At the same time, you do not look like a stingy man, and you do not leave a woman in debt. Also you show that you want to continue the relationship. Most often women perceive it well.
Although, paying for a date is extremely important for some women. And what is even more interesting, there are two categories of women. First one thinks that a woman should never pay for a date, letting a man to be a caring gentleman. In the worst case, they may be just checking the financial status of a man or they simply want to go out to a fancy place for free. That is rather unpleasant for a man.
A woman of the second category thinks that if she pays for herself then she can feel free. She may order what she wants and leave whenever she wants. These ladies believe that money give them freedom. And you have to respect their choice.
But still there are general rules of paying for dates etiquette.
Should a woman pay for a date when she asks a man out?
- If she invites you to a café or a restaurant on her birthday, she may pay the bill as a birthday treat (but don’t forget to bring her a birthday gift!). It will be a proper behavior of her because she invited you on this special occasion.
- Let’s consider the situation when the girl took an initiative to invite you to movies. So, she can buy tickets. If you feel awkward about that, you can bring her flowers or simply arrange some snacks like popcorn and coke.
- If during the meal, she ordered much more than you did, she should pay her part of the bill because it was significantly larger than yours. It is just a matter of good manners. You can accept it or refuse.
When you are in serious relations, it does not matter who pays for what, especially if you have your common budget. You plan together where you want to go or how much to spend. That is okay.
To sum the things up, I must say the financial issue is quite hard, but if you approach it wisely, you will have no problems with girls.